The landlord at the girls' dormitory as well as an English teacher at Sakashitamon Academy who is originally from Osaka.
She has what Hachibei considers "ideal legs" (like Sally Yumeno's) and is very tall (by Hachibei's estimate, at least 190 centimeters, or about 6'3"). She is an easy going, fun loving girl who loves to smoke, drink, and street race in her modified Honda S800 (in fact being the reason why she learned English was because the parts for the car were in America).
Because she is almost 25 years old, her mother desperately wants her to get married and often makes her attend omiai meetings. Tsubame purposely sabotages these meetings because she refuses to marry anyone who she does not love. She actually had a boyfriend (who apparently had a leg fetish) who she met in college, though he died in motorcycle accident.
His younger sister held a grudge against her for years until Hachibei helped them reconcile. After this and their time at a theme park, she seems to have grown a crush on Hachibe, so she does not mind Hachibei's fetishes and even asks him to massage her legs, comically she asks most of the time during times where it seems to be an inconvenience for him to do so. She falls for a drinking buddy and through Hachibei and her drinking buddy able to let go of her loved lost one. She is now dating the drinking buddy with outlook towards marriage. She was the only girl who did not wish to be with Hachibe at the end, stating that she belongs to Ono, to the shock of Hachibe.